I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
