youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
