dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
