I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
