i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
