i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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