I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
