if you like me you must not know who I am
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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