i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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