haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
