Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize