He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you will always have a special place in my vag
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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