he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
