Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
