I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
