isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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