apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You're earring is so big in my mouth
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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