I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
They took my balls.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
