I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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