I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
