Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
