so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
