loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
