So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
