There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
