could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
