I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
