No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
a search helicopter?!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
