everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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