Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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