id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
