I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I've blown a few things in my day
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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