Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
