put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
