...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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