thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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