if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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