he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
