True but thats because hes a fetus.
she looked like the before picture.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
