I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
