so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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