its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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