dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
