i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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