worst night to have a conscience
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
