the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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