alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
