thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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