Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
