no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
