The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
