It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
