your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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