I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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