she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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