Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I lost the right to judge tonight
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
