Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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