So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize