So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He told me they were just razor bumps!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
