i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
