So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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