i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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