nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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