We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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