either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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