So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
