do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
