remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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