I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
