i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Every concussion has its silver lining
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
