we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
