you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
