Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Green mimosas i think yes
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
