Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
