I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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