A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
